For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity… [I]n it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. [God] would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity (which means being concerned with Him) or with the Present - either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.
- C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
Waiting.
I know that has been a recurring theme in this blog these last couple years.
Right now, as I struggle with envy and wounded pride and frustration as people around me have these crazy life adventures—graduations, weddings, babies, world travel, new jobs—while I seem to be left behind, the concept of waiting seems, well…relevant. Important to grapple with, and figure out, and accept.
So often, when I voice my confusion to people, they respond with encouragement along these lines: “It is good to be waiting on the Lord. He is preparing you for something. He has plans for you, a place for you, and He’ll show them to you in His timing. Take heart, and be patient.”
Those words show up again and again: “waiting”, “preparing”, “timing”, “patience”.
But lately I find myself wondering at so much focus (my own as well as others') being placed on the unrealized aspect of God’s work in my life. Like this is a stretch of time “to endure” until He shows me what He actually has planned. Like I’m in limbo, sitting around in some metaphysical waiting room, idly flipping through magazines in a mostly-meaningless state until I am called up to fulfill the appointment that will give my existence significance.
...Does that not fail to recognize that God is at work even now?
I am told to be patient; that this period is not wasted. But I find myself thinking, “Of course it isn’t wasted. Why do we have to assume that it is?”
I am told that this season of my life will be shown to matter in the future. But I find myself asking, “Why can’t it matter in the present?”
To say that I am only “waiting on God’s time and place for me” is to cheapen—or even miss altogether—the glorious reality that, in this moment—the only moment I can experience—God's time for me is now, and his place for me is here.
This is the day that the Lord has made.
We are free to "bear the present cross, receive the present grace, and give thanks for the present pleasure."
The smell of the thunderstorm outside. Seeing my little garden patch grow. Conversations with neighbors. Tears of frustration and confusion and comfort as I seek the will of God. Reading books and writing birthday cards and sharing meals with my friends. Whether I am actively engaged in a spiritual battle or merely going cross-eyed proofreading documents at work, God is present, and there is glory to be given Him.
Now. Right this second.
The people God has placed around me have been a tremendous means of encouragement, and solace, and truth-bearing in this sometimes discouraging season: God’s timing is best. He does have plans. He doesn’t waste our experiences. His plans don’t always (usually) make sense in our limited vision.
We can indeed look forward to the future with anticipation of great things to come and great works to be done.
But we live here. We live now.
Even as we eagerly wait for God’s plans to unfold, let us never forget that we are already in the midst of them.
